Murder in the Mansion
Written by Diana Hamilton, age 10
My elementary school in Terre Haute, Indiana employed a kind woman who would turn anything a kid wrote into a “book”—with your choice of wallpaper for the cover and a plastic binding. I published a dozen or so, but this is my favorite: it’s about the NYPD becoming murderers in order to increase the crime rate (and thereby their pay). —Diana
1
It was a busy day at the New York police station. It wasn't near as busy as it used to be, though. Anyway, the cops, Freddy, Todd, Joe, and Bill were glad to have a few more cases at what used to be the biggest police station in New York. Now, crime was down and people were joking that cops would start making crimes so they would get more money solving them. They just thought it was a joke, but they didn't realize how deadly literal it was. Joe was sitting in a bar in downtown New York, feeling sorry for himself for all his troubles. A normal cop wouldn't have troubles.
2.
A normal cop would be rich with money and be spending it all without a care. So what trouble would he have, you might ask. Many. Too many. Crime dropping is great for a city, but a problem for a cop whose job is fighting crime. Paychecks were going down with crime as it went down, and all the other cops were low in money, too, as taxes just kept going up.
When Joe's rich wife found out about his money problem, she immediately filed for a divorce, since she had always loved money more than him. On top of that, his kids went with her because she could buy them all the toys and games they wanted.
3.
(They took after their mom with the love money.)
But Joe and his friends were going to fin da plan. A plan to raise crime and many more cases. Freddy, Todd, Bill, and Joe were going out that night to discuss it. Sadly, they picked the bar to meet. (I guess I forgot to name all of Joe's problems.)
"Hey Joe! I'm glad we came to the bar. I'm in the mood for a couple of beers!" said Bill.
"Yeah!" said Freddy. "I have the best ideas when I'm drunk." Then they all had about five beers and got deeply drunk.
"I just came up with the best idea!" exclaimed Joe.
4.
“Let’s make some crimes ourselves. And then we’ll solve them and make money!”
“OK.! I get it! We’ll kill someone rich, steal their money, and then make money solving the case!” said Bill.
“Glad I thought of it,” said Joe.
“First stop, Joe’s ex-wife!” said Bill.
Joe thought to himself, “Now I’ll have my revenge!”
That night, the men got into their care and drive to Joe’s ex-wife’s mansion.
5.
Both of his children were off at their friends’ houses, so Joe’s ex-wife, Judy, was alone, or at least that was what she thought.
At midnight, all the men jumped out and murdered her. Her last words were “Oh fudge!” (She never, ever swore!) Then they found the money and went home.
The next day at work, they heard a supposedly surprising story about Joe’s ex-wife, Judy Moola’s, death. Joe had to pretend to be terrified and sad. Joe didn’t have to be on the case, because it was his ex-wife and he was so grieved, but he still got paid for it and was happy.
6.
The other men were on the case immediately, but the next week, the crime rate was even lower. They kept killing people, bu thte next two months’ crime rate was lower than ever in world history!
One evening, another cop showed up at Joe’s door. Joe didn’t know this cop. Joe greeted him, thinking it was only a visit from another new cop at work, until the cop grabbed Joe and handcuffed him. The cop threw Joe in the car and drove him to the police station. When they arrived at the station, all of Joe’s friends were there and drunk. They were put on trail, and later sentenced to death.
7.
The men had a few questions before their death. They wondered how they found out it was them. The answer was fingerprints. Fingerprints were found on the knife and the dead body, and all of them matched the guys. They wondered, most of all though, how, if many more people died, did crime keep dropping lower and lower. The answer to this question was that every person murdered was a criminal, even Joe’s ex-wife. For every new crime case, many more were stopped! So the murders only led to less crimes.
The men’s death came. At the last minute, Joe got very angry.
8.
He killed everyone in the room, including his friends. He looked around and saw what he had done. Joe was so sad, he took the cop’s guns and shot himself. Don’t be surprised if you go to New York and think you see a ghost haunting the area of the police station. It’s only Joe, too guilty to leave the earth.
About the Author
My name is Diana Hamilton. I’m ten years old and in the fifth grade. I have one brother named Ryan, and he is fourteen years old. I enjoy reading, and my favorite book is Heidi. I would like to be an author and teacher and live in Duluth, Minnesota.